


Hit Me with Your Best Shot

by hullosweetpea



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Graphic Depictions of Cheese, M/M, Prank War, Uncensored Hand Holding, bad-ass coat wearer, fluff the size of an atom bomb, hedgehogs used in questionable manners, improper usage of macaroni and cheese and condoms, sombody gets punched, the tragic loss of several limes, there is a dog, watch out for hardcore handholding, yogurt (i can explain)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 16:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hullosweetpea/pseuds/hullosweetpea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's more than just revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit Me with Your Best Shot

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

 

  1. Kitchen Aids Used in Ways Not Advertised



 

It started when Dean had wrapped Charlie’s entire dorm room in bubble wrap.

 

“What in the ever loving fuck happened in here?” Charlie dropped her backpack to the floor and ripped the plastic wrap off her bed. It clung to her comforter and the whole thing fell onto the floor. She grumbled and pulled out her phone, her fingers dancing across the screen as she texted with the fury of one wronged.  

 

**Me: DEAN WINCHESTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE.**

 

**Dean: in clfs talj kayer**

 

She scowled and grabbed a pair of scissors out of her desk and started cutting everything out of its plastic wrapped hell. He had gotten everything. Her towels, her pencils, her _tampons_ for Christ’s sake. Ugh. Oh she was going to get him back. She wasn’t Queen of Moondoor for nothing. Sometimes you have to be ruthless to keep your kingdom safe. Her burning passion fueled the fire she needed to cut through a plastic wrap mountain. Dean came into her dorm room as she finished pulling a hair tie (a hair tie!) out of its plastic cage. “You are such a dick.”

 

He grinned. “Hey, every Winchester has been subject to a prank war. Even honorary ones.” Dean leaned over and started to clean up the plastic wrap from the floor. “I say we call a truce.”

 

Charlie frowned and threw her scissors on her bed. “Oh, it hasn’t been a war yet. You may have pranked me once, but this war has just started. Plastic wrap Dean. That’s just evil.”

 

“No evil is putting Nair in Sam’s shampoo.”

 

“You didn’t.”

 

He grinned. “Yeah I did.”

 

She huffed and started balling up the plastic wrap. “That doesn’t get you out of my revenge plan.” Charlie shoved it on top of Dean’s growing stack. “I will win this, Winchester.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Try me, Bradbury. I’ve got years of pranking Sammy on you.”

 

“I think you underestimate my powers. You’ll be the one to beg for mercy first.”

 

“Wanna bet?”

 

“Hell yeah.” She stuck out her hand. “Loser has to drive the winner around for the rest of the semester.”

 

“Why would I want to let you drive me around in your shitty Gremlin?”

 

“You won’t lose your front row parking.”

 

Dean’s eyes grew and he shook her hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

 

2.) Never Underestimate Breakfast Foods

 

Dean was a bit of a prima donna when it came to his personal grooming, especially showers. Everyone knew Dean loved a shower with great water pressure and Cas could testify that his boyfriend had an extensive collections of shampoos, conditioners, soaps, and more. When confronted, Dean would vehemently deny its existence and give Cas a look. Charlie had pinched Dean’s key right as he was leaving her dorm room and was using it to exact her revenge.

 

She crept into his dorm room where Dean and Cas were wrapped around each other on the twin XL bed. Charlie opened his closet door and pulled out his shower caddy bursting with bottles. She pulled each bottle out and unscrewed them, letting the caps settle on the rug. She filled his creamy shampoo and conditioners with yogurt and his amber colored shower gel with honey. Charlie gave each a good shake to mix up the original contents with the new; not much could be done with the shower gel and honey, but oh well. She screwed the caps back on and replaced them back into the caddy. Charlie relocked the door and placed the stolen key back on Dean’s desk. Her task complete, she slunk back to the third floor like a ninja and stole away in her dorm room.

 

-o-O-o-

 

Dean stormed into her dorm room with a scowl. “CHARLIE BRADBURY. What the _fuck_ did you do?”

 

“Hello to you too, Dean.”

 

He growled and crossed his arms. “Don’t be cute with me. I know you’re the one who put the yogurt and the honey in my shit. A man’s shower supply is sacred.”

 

Charlie set her laptop to the side and put her hands on her hips. “I told you I would make this a war. Nothing is sacred in war.” She sniffed the air. “Did you use Cas’s stuff?”

 

“Because you fucked mine up.” He grumbled and held his crossed arms higher. “He likes it though.”

 

Charlie muffled her laughter. “Go back to your boyfriend. He’ll appreciate it.”

 

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to get you back.” He backed away towards the door.

 

“I’m sure you will,” she called back.

 

3.) It’s Ruined. All Ruined.

 

The on campus dining hall had its good days and its bad days. Mac and Cheese bar day? Pure fucking heaven. Noodles, cheese, and your choice of the provided toppings. Broccoli, chicken, bacon, sautéed onions, bread crumbs, mushrooms, and extra cheese; nice and hot and so, so worth it. Charlie was salivating the moment she opened d-hall’s door. The wait in line had been agonizing, but now she held in her hands the secret to happiness in college.

 

Elbow noodles draped in decadent cheese sauce, orangey yellow and thick. Chicken chunks glistening as the cheese sauce reflects light and bits of bread crumbs cling to it. Bacon and sautéed onions interspersed as hidden bites of deliciousness. Mac and cheese day is a serious business. Very serious.

 

Charlie didn’t even wait for it to cool down and shoved the first forkful in, burning her tongue and dooming her to the pain. But the pain was so worth it for this orgasmic mouthful of ‘oh my god the cafeteria can make good food.’ She was engrossed in the gooey, buttery, and stringiness of the mac and cheese she didn’t notice someone sitting down next to her.

 

“Do you need some alone time with your meal? I know Jo’s been gone for two days, but still.” Dean picked up his fork and stabbed some noodles. “You sounded like you had found heaven in your bowl. This shit is good, but not _that_ good.”

 

“Don’t make fun,” said Charlie. “You know this is some of the best stuff they have to offer.”

 

He mumbled and turned to his own bowl of mac and cheese. “Chicken parm is a close contender.”

 

“Here, here.” Charlie devoured her mac and cheese, not giving a shit if an appreciative moan or two tumbled out of her mouth because, damn it, it was good.

 

“Hey, can I come over to your dorm room after? Cas is in class and I figured we could plan next week’s LARP meeting,” said Dean.

 

Charlie grabbed her glass and shrugged. “Sure. You need to go to your dorm for anything first?”

 

“Naw I’m good.”

 

-o-O-o-

 

“What are you all excited about? Normally you’re super chatty when we walk up the stairs,” said Charlie.

 

Dean shrugged with a shit eating grin on his face. “Just thinking about stuff is all.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “I doubt that.” Charlie unlocked her door and pushed it open. Before she can flick the light switch on she is bombarded by slicky, heavy, squishy things from above. “What the fuck!” Dean stood behind her laughing as she bent down to pick up one of the water filled condoms. Charlie brandished the slippery tube at his chest. “You utter dick.” She waved it around erratically and Dean watched its path. “What the hell? That fucking hurt. And you did it on mac and cheese day.” Her grip on it loosened and it falls down on the carpet down the hall with a squelch. One of them leaked water by her foot, another rolling across the floor to her dorm room. “That’s sacred.”

 

“Jesus Charlie, this coming from the chick who put _honey_ in my shower gel. I was lucky I checked everything after the yogurt or I would have ended up with honey in places honey never should.”

 

Charlie rubbed her temples. “Ew, gross.” She kicked one of the condoms and it jiggled as it rolled down the hallway. “Just pick up your dicks. I hope this depleted your and Cas’s condom stash.”

 

“Actually I had the guys on my floor get free ones from the Health Center.”

 

“Ugh.”

 

“They’re just like longer water balloons.”

 

“I can’t hear you!”

 

            4.) WTF

 

“What the fuck! How did you get a fucking hedgehog in my closet?”

 

“Yeah, well how did you get Sam to let you borrow his dog to wreck my LARP supplies?”

 

            5.) This Is Not One of Those Times When Life Gives You Lemons

 

“Where in the actual hell did you find a crate of limes?” Charlie turned around to see Dean behind her, also with a crate of limes.

 

“Pike is having a Cinco de Mayo party. Lots of margaritas are happening.” Dean adjusted his grip on his crate. “How did you find yours?”

 

“I punched Dick for them,” said Charlie. She set them on the communal couch and leaned her arm on them.

 

“Why’d you have to punch him?”

 

“He was being a dick. And he wasn’t going to give them to me anyway. Plus, he’s a creep to freshman, so he deserved it.”

 

Dean nodded, but frowned. “We are having a prank war, you know.”

 

“You mean I’m _winning_ a prank war.”

 

“Yeah right Bradbury.”

 

She flicked her hair and opened the door to the stairwell. “We’ll see Winchester.” Charlie stepped in and met Cas. “Hey Cas! If you’re looking for Dean he’s behind me.”

 

Cas scowled and crossed his arms. “I was looking for both of you actually.” He pulled Charlie’s arm and dragged her back to the grouping of couches.

 

Dean saw them enter and smiled. “Hey babe.”

 

Cas pointed to the couch and Dean spluttered. He raised an eyebrow and Dean pouted as he sat down next to Charlie. Cas pulled out his phone and his fingers navigated around the screen before he placed it back in his pocket. “We have a few minutes before we begin, so, give me your limes.”

 

“What the fuck are you doing Cas,” said Charlie. She held her limes protectively to her chest.

 

“You can’t keep them.”

 

“Who says?”

 

“Me.”

 

Charlie turned around to see Jo walking through the front doors, her suitcase trailing behind. “Jo you’re back!”

 

She smiled. “I am, but seriously? A prank war? With a _Winchester_?”

 

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “He was the one who started it.”

 

“Which is why we are ending it,” said Cas. “I miss my boyfriend. Jo didn’t want to come back to this, so we decided to end it.”

 

Jo picked up both crates of limes and tossed them in the trash. “I love you Charlie, but I could not handle a prank war.”

  
Charlie stood up and kissed her. “Yeah, I get it. Sorry.”

 

Cas grabbed Dean by the hand and pulled him off the couch. “I love you as well Dean, but I knew if it lasted any longer you would have dragged me into it as well.”

 

Dean kissed his forehead. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll save it for summer vacations with Sammy.”

 

Cas grinned. “That I can get behind.”

 

“Ugh, you two are so gross,” teased Charlie.

 

Dean waved his hand and Cas’s in front of Charlie. “Is this too gross for you?”

 

Jo cuffed him on the shoulder. “Don’t be a dork.”

 

“That is my duty, Harvelle.”

 

“Fuck off Winchester.”

 

“Only with Cas.”

 

Charlie and Jo groaned as Dean put his hands in the pockets of Cas’s trench coat and pulled him in closer for a kiss.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> SPN Coldest Hits  has returned! This month's theme: AO3 tag of the day. Apparently you were only supposed to pick one, buuut I went a little crazy. All the tags I used from 'Yogurt' to 'Fluff' were from AO3 tag of the day; the last two were just in general tags.  For more SPN fun head over to my Tumblr .


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